I'm on cycle day 12. I went in for my follicle monitoring ultra sound this morning. I have many follies in my right ovary, but they are all too immature to have any hope of making it to ovulation. I have one "nice" follie in my left ovary, currently measuring 16mm. They ran blood work to check my Estridol and LH levels. My LH level is still very low, which means I won't be ovulating in the next 12-48 hours. My Estridol level is at 76, which is supposedly good and in accordance with my follicle's size.To recap, last month I had two "nice" follicles in my left ovary both measuring 18mm on cycle day 18. My Estridol level last month was 168 on that same day. I was just informed today that my Estridol level from last month was low seeing as how there were two eggs released. This month, there aren't as many follicles but the one I do have is maturing quicker than last month.
I start using my Ovulation Predictor Kits today. If I don't get a positive test by Saturday morning, I have to call the Dr. and set up our 2nd IUI for Monday, July 2, 2007. I will have to give myself another "trigger" shot on 6/30 if I don't get a positive reading by that Saturday morning.
I am cautiously excited about this 2nd IUI. I'm really hoping this is the one...but also trying not to get my hopes up high. This last cycle was very difficult to take. Finding out we weren't pregnant on Father's Day was even worse than the usual negative HPT. Just another blow, with a little more sting each passing month. Satan is trying so hard to bring us down to his level. We're not going there. I know with all I am that we will have a child of our own...a little combination of us both. That keeps me going.
Some days are harder than others. The News makes it difficult to understand why this is happening to us. Everyday, I can turn on the News and see an innocent baby hurt or killed by his/her parents or loved ones. Why? Just this week I read of a Pro Wrestler who killed his wife and his seven year old son before hanging himself! Why? I also read of a 21-yr old man who shook his 2 month old baby to death because she was crying! Why? Why would anyone do these things? Better yet, why do they get the gift of having children if all they will do is harm them? Things like this make our situation evermore trying.
In addition, we still have those handy dandy "well-meaning" people to cope with. The ones who seem to think stress is our problem. "Just stop trying and it'll happen." "Don't think about it and it'll happen." "Just relax and it'll come." I could go on and on. I don't understand why people can't comprehend that this type of worldly advice does not help! I try my best to just put on a foe happy face, grit my teeth, hold my tongue and walk away. I would love to ask where they received their medical degree. Seriously, would they tell a cancer patient to "just relax" and a cure will happen? NO, they don't! Why? Because they know better; they understand that cancer is a serious medical condition that requires medical treatment. There are so many people out there who are very ignorant to the medical condition of Infertility. A glass of wine is not a treatment, nor cure. When these "well-meaning" people harp on infertiles to "just relax," it only makes us want to punch their face in. They are implying that we are simply tight asses who are overly obsessed with getting pregnant. Even if we were, that has nothing to do with the actual condition, nor does stress affect one's ability to achieve conception. I really don't know why they think the way they do. All we really want to hear/know is that they are praying/rooting for us. That they love us and we are in their thoughts. We just want to know that someone is there backing us with support, an ear to listen, and a shoulder to cry on. We don't need advice, that's what we're paying the Doctors for.
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